Yesterday was a really rough day for a lot of people, myself included.
You see, I've been blessed by God to have some of the most amazing people surround me. Sadly my family is quite small, and I only have one grandparent left. My father was an only child and I have no uncles.
In 3rd or 4th grade, one of my classmates was struck by a car while crossing the street near Park Village Elementary and Park Village Community Park. She was jaywalking with her friend to get to the park from school and as she almost reached the other side, a car stopped and waved her across. That driver had no idea that in the next lane over, a car was unable to see the kids running across the street and tragically, struck the poor girl and that was it. The parents were distraught and the entire neighborhood was shaken. How could such a thing happen to such an innocent child? Then the usual came. Blame. Blame it on the driver who stopped, who should have seen the other car coming. Really? Is that who we should blame? Or perhaps we should blame the kids for breaking the law and jaywalking? No, we couldn't ever do that. How about the driver who wasn't paying attention enough to see kids crossing the street? Sure, let's blame them.
I hate that. Let's not point fingers, let's properly mourn those who should be mourned. To be honestly I never really knew her. She was in my grade and I should have known her but it didn't shock me to the core because we weren't very close, and barely acquaintances.
Suicide hit in high school with a friend of many of my friend's. I didn't know him personally, so I wasn't really shaken, but it still affects you because they took their life into their own hands. Thinking that it was a solution. In reality, it was a "permanent solution to a very temporary problem" just like Will says. That loss affected many people because he was considered one of the nicest kids around.
Freshman year college, one of my roommates took his life into his own hands. I did know Danny personally and my memories of him are jovial and positive. How could they not be? He was easily one of the smartest kids I knew, guaranteed 4.0 kid who screwed the curve over in Chem and Bio classes, yet you couldn't meet a more humble kid. Never put others down to build himself up, never. He was a truly genuinely nice guy. Sadly I didn't get a chance to really know the inner Danny, and when he passed I was really shaken. Shaken at the thought that somebody that physically close to me, he lived right next door to me in my dorms, could be gone, and we'd never see him walk through the front doors again. But emotionally, because he wasn't a best friend, I guess I wasn't extremely torn. Sure emotionally ravaged enough to alter my studying abilities, but we weren't the closest of friends, but I can still consider him a friend. He was always full of wisdom, in an awesomely nerdy way, yet he was always quick enough to create a comeback out of the blue to really knock you off your feet. He had such a beautiful mind, and although the details of his passing are kinda hazy, a lot of things don't quite add in up his suicide, he is gone. And hopefully, to a much better place than this crazy world.
Likewise, I want to talk about Clement. Danny was a roommate and a friend, somebody I should have known better, but I was too involved in my own things that I didn't get a real chance to hang out with him enough, or spend time with him. Clement I knew a bit better, somebody I would always see on campus. I remember I really grew close to TKE because of Greek Week and being paired with them allowed me to expand and meet some new people, some amazing new people. He wasn't part of TKE when I got to know most of the TKEs, but because I built good relations with them, I natually met him at their booth.
He was a goofy kid. Always quick to say what's up or hi to me, and I barely knew him. And sadly I will always barely know him. I know the brothers of TKE at UCSD are completely torn to shreds by losing a brother. I know that I won't have that exact same experience or bond because I didn't know him as a best friend would. But I am proud to say I did know him, and he was my friend. A person who I never saw upset, always cheery and full of life. Whether it was a quick handshake on Library Walk, chillin at their booth, drinking at parties, I would always see him and he treated me like somebody who he always hung out with, just like any other brother. It would be stereotypical to say that all fraternities hate each other. And sometimes it's true. Mostly it's not because it takes a lot of time and energy to hate every single person in another chapter. I'm proud to say that I have friends throughout the Greek system and I'm not afraid to step outside of my own chapter, for fear of what? Clement always was a part of why I felt welcomed by their brothers. He never judged, and to be honest I don't think many people judged him because of this. He was a genuinely decent person, a kind heart with a huge smile to match. A true cool cat. Never judging, never had any qualms, just seemingly content with life and being alive. It's a tragedy that that is no more.
No parent should ever have to bury their child. Ever. That is perhaps one of the worst feelings in the world that I can't even bear to imagine. It's not fair. It truly isn't.
This one's for you Clement. You see, we might not have been best friends, or ever had a serious heart to heart talk about life or anything. We did shoot the bull a lot, because hell, why not? But amongst all of that, I saw your true colors. I knew who you were and who you are. Everyone will remember your smile. It was not only a defining feature, something that we can all visualize, it was the perfect external reflection of how you were in an entirety. You were happy. Jovial, full of life. Perhaps it seems trite to say you never had a care, but to me you seemed to just flow with life and that in itself is a beautiful quality to have.
We're going to miss you, hell we already do. I hope wherever you are now, with your beautiful soul, that you can see, feel, and hear our sadness. But let our positive and happy memories of you burn eternal, and outweigh any mourning. It is only right to mourn you, but let that be brief. It only seems right that we celebrate your life, however short it may have been, but packed full of life. So we celebrate the person you were, and will always be. Son, student, brother of TKE, citizen of the world, friend. You have impacted us all. Of course you know that. I just hope that these few paragraphs properly sum up the impact you've had on me.
Please don't drink and drive. The consequence might not only be a DUI, or a damaged car, but imagine a tarnished family. Destroyed. Feel lucky that everyday we are giving a present, a life. Drive safely people. Be aware. Because if you drink and drive, you are putting not only your life into your hands, but innocent bystanders as well.
Rest in peace, bless your soul, Clement Tsai. March 23, 1990 - September 10, 2009.
Could have wished to see how you would have celebrated two decades of life. We will forever miss you and you're impossible to forget. It hurts to say this, but goodbye. Smile on buddy.
